YOUNG WOMAN FROM OREGON WINS APPEAL FOR BRAIN TRANSPLANT!!
April 15th, 2001
In a dramatic turn of events, 20-year old Stephne Kentopp, from Wamic, Oregon, won her lawsuit against MetaCortex Industries, Inc in the Oregon State Court Circuit today. The politically important case began last October when Kentopp learned that MetaCortex had used an illegally- obtained tissue sample of Kentopp's to create a clone in 1994 without Kentopp's consent. In November, the 20-year old Kentopp met the 6-year old Stephne in person, and immediately filed a lawsuit against MetaCortex. This class action lawsuit has multidimensional political implications due to the fact that Kentopp sued for both money and a brain transplant, raising biological and religious questions alike that would cause Darwin and the first Pope to roll over in their graves.
The religious right wing, already clawing at the case due to the cloning aspect, broke into a galactic outburst when it learned of the brain transplant clause, claiming the procedure would violate all Biblical rules as to soul and spirit. Kentopp, in a recent interview with Wired, when asked why she wants a transplant, responded with her own question, "Haven't you ever wanted to start over in life knowing everything that you know now?" The 6-year old Kentopp declined comment, but one can only imagine how scary it would sound for a 6-year old mind to suddenly be in possession of a 20-year old body. The older Stephne added, "And when you were younger, weren't there times where you wished you could just skip junior and high school and be a young adult, capable of stimulating sex and a high-paying job? This is a win-win situation, for both me, and myself."
Judges and lawyers throughout the world have been interviewed on countless talk shows, debating the legal questions that the transplant presents. After the transplant, will the 6-year old Kentopp with the 20-year old mind have to attend school, be allowed to drive, or drink alcohol? Will the 20-year old Kentopp with the 6-year old mind have or be able to do the same things? Kentopp's parents have declined all interview requests after being forced to move due to the 24-hour paparazzi surrounding their Wamic home. Kentopp's friends have expressed unanimous support (including her boyfriend!) for the transplant, with the most common response being, "Well, she'll finally be able to act her age without people giving her strange looks." Well, we think people are going to give her strange looks, anyway, with all this clone-ing around. ~